New Year Reflections: Navigating Grief and Embracing Life’s Realities
As the year winds down, social media timelines flood with recaps—montages of smiling faces, milestone achievements, and triumphant captions celebrating personal growth. Over the next week, it will feel like the entire world is sharing their highlight reels, showcasing vacations, promotions, weddings, and transformations. And while I genuinely applaud these moments of joy, I also want to pause and acknowledge something we often overlook in these public celebrations: not every year is filled with triumphs. Some years are marked by grief, loss, and unmet expectations, such as not achieving the goals we set for ourselves or experiencing setbacks we didn’t anticipate.
This year, for me, was one of those years.
Grappling with Grief
This year, I lost a dear friend. We had been planning a couple of trips together—adventures we had eagerly talked about for years. Those plans weren’t just itineraries; they were dreams that brought us both so much excitement and joy.
Although we didn’t live close to each other, we maintained a deep connection for many years through virtual conversations. We met up during dance season travels and supported each other through life’s ups and downs. During the isolation of COVID, our friendship became a lifeline. We even watched her granddaughter’s dance competition virtually, sharing the experience from our own homes. We laughed, we cried, and we shared everything—the positive moments that lifted us and the struggles that challenged us. Her presence in my life was a constant source of comfort and strength, and the void she has left feels immeasurable.
Losing her meant more than just losing a travel companion; it meant facing the stark emptiness of moments we were supposed to share. When the dates we were supposed to travel finally arrived, they hit me harder than I could have imagined. What should have been days of adventure became days of mourning.
This was not the only heartbreak that defined my year. A close friend experienced the unimaginable: the loss of her son. Witnessing her grief was profoundly heartbreaking and profoundly painful. It was a stark reminder of how fragile life is and how quickly everything can change. Grief doesn’t just affect those directly experiencing the loss; it ripples outward, touching everyone in its path. We are all in this together, navigating the complex terrain of grief. You are not alone in your journey.
As I process my own grief and try to support those around me, I’ve come to understand that the end of the year isn’t just a time for celebration—it’s also a time to sit with our pain and honour the people and experiences we’ve lost. It’s important to acknowledge and honour our grief, as it’s a significant part of our healing journey.
For those navigating grief, you’re not alone. Grief is a deeply personal journey, but resources and support can help ease the burden. You can visit my website, Inner Sojourn, for a dedicated grief resource page filled with tools and insights to guide you through the healing process. Additionally, consider seeking professional help or joining a support group. The Canadian Mental Health Association offers valuable resources to support your journey. Reaching out for help is a brave step toward healing, and these resources are here to assist you in finding solace and hope.
Additionally, the Canadian Mental Health Association offers valuable resources to support your journey. Reaching out for help is a brave step toward healing, and these resources are here to assist you in finding solace and hope.
The Pressure of Expectations
Every January, I begin the year with a hopeful heart and a carefully considered list of goals—not over-the-top resolutions but aspirations that feel both meaningful and attainable. Still, I can’t help but wonder if even these set us up for failure. This year was no different. I had plans to grow personally and professionally, explore new places, and deepen my relationships. In those early days of January, the year stretched ahead with promise and possibility.
This year, I found myself grappling with losses that reshaped the entire landscape of my life. The death of my dear friend, with whom I shared years of conversations, laughter, and plans for future adventures, was a devastating blow. Equally heartbreaking was witnessing the unimaginable pain of another close friend as she mourned the loss of her son.
These profound losses didn’t just shift my priorities—they redefined them. They forced me to reevaluate what truly matters, reminding me of life’s fragility and the immeasurable value of the connections we hold dear.
Grief has a way of disrupting everything. It drains your energy, clouds your focus, and forces you to reevaluate what truly matters. For much of this year, I felt like I was trudging through thick molasses, each step forward taking a monumental effort. Even the simplest goals I had set at the beginning of the year felt out of reach.
Adding to the weight was the unshakable feeling of being left behind. Social media and casual conversations became reminders of how others seemed to be thriving—launching new ventures, crossing milestones, and celebrating accomplishments. I knew comparison wouldn’t help, but it was impossible to avoid. Why did it feel like everyone else was excelling while I was barely holding on?
As I reflect on this, I’ve come to realize that we often place unrealistic expectations on what we can achieve in a single year, especially during challenging times. Life is messy and unpredictable, and the idea of linear progress doesn’t account for the detours, setbacks, and pauses we all inevitably face.
Despite this, I’ve learned to find value in the progress I did make, however small it may have been. In some years, simply surviving is an accomplishment in itself. In the quiet moments—amidst the grief and the struggle—I found glimmers of growth that I might have otherwise overlooked. These ‘small wins’ are not insignificant; they are the building blocks of our resilience and should be celebrated. They are proof of our strength and endurance.
Small Wins in a Difficult Year
Amid the heaviness of this year, there were moments of light. They didn’t come in the form of major achievements or life-changing events but in the quiet victories that sustained me.
I reconnected with old friends, sharing laughter and memories that reminded me of the resilience of human connection. I learned to ask for help when I needed it—a skill I’ve struggled with for years. I spent quiet evenings reflecting and journaling, which became a powerful tool for processing my thoughts and emotions. And while I didn’t accomplish many of the goals I set in January, I made it through each day, which, in itself, feels like an achievement worth celebrating. These small wins, no matter how insignificant they may seem, are the building blocks of our resilience and should be celebrated.
Reframing the New Year
As we head into a new year, I want to propose a different way of looking at this season. Instead of focusing solely on achievements and milestones, let’s also make space for the experiences that challenged us, tested us, the moments that broke us, and the lessons we learned along the way. Let’s use these experiences as stepping stones for our personal growth and development in the coming year.
For those who’ve had a tough year, remember: you don’t have to share your pain publicly, but you also don’t have to pretend it doesn’t exist. Grief and loss are part of the human experience, and they deserve to be acknowledged. By acknowledging them, we create space for healing.
If you’re seeking support on your own grief journey, you’re not alone. You can visit my website, Inner Sojourn, for resources and guidance to help navigate this challenging time. Additionally, MyGrief.ca offers online support tailored to your needs, providing tools and insights for those coping with loss.Holding Space for Others
One of the most profound lessons I’ve learned this year is the power of holding space for others. When my friend lost her son, I often felt helpless, unsure of what to say or do. But I’ve come to understand that presence is more powerful than words. Simply showing up—whether with a text, a meal, a shoulder to cry on, or simply a listening ear—can make an enormous difference.
As we approach the new year, I encourage you to check in with those who might be struggling. Not everyone will post their struggles online, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t hurting. A simple message like “I’m thinking of you” can be a lifeline. For guidance on supporting others through grief, the Canadian Grief Alliance provides helpful resources.
Looking Ahead
Despite the challenges of this year, I am optimistic about the future. I know that grief doesn’t follow a timeline and that healing isn’t linear. But I also know that each new day brings an opportunity to start again.
In the coming year, my hopes are simple: to honour my friend’s memory by living a life she would have been proud of, to support those I love through their struggles, and to treat myself with gentleness. I want to let go of the pressure to achieve and focus instead on what truly matters: connection, kindness, and resilience.
A Note to Those Reading
If you’re reading this and reflecting on your own tough year, know that you are not alone. It’s okay if your year didn’t look like a highlight reel. It’s okay if you feel like you’re entering the new year with more questions than answers.
Instead of setting lofty resolutions, consider setting intentions that prioritize your well-being. Maybe that means investing in therapy and self-growth, spending more time outdoors, or simply giving yourself permission to rest. Whatever it is, let it be something that nourishes your soul.
And if you’re someone who had a great year, I celebrate that with you. But I also ask that you hold space for those who didn’t. The beauty of this season lies not in our individual experiences but in our collective humanity—the shared joys and sorrows that make us who we are.
Closing Thoughts
This year was hard, but it taught me so much about love, loss, and the resilience of the human spirit. As I step into the new year, I carry those lessons with me, along with the memory of those I’ve lost and the hope for brighter days ahead.
To anyone navigating grief or unmet expectations, I see you. I’m with you. And I’m rooting for you as we all turn the page and begin anew.
Here’s to a new year filled with grace—for ourselves and each other.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by grief or struggling to find your way forward, please don’t hesitate to reach out. I understand how isolating loss can feel, and I’m here to offer support, whether it’s through conversation, guidance, or simply being someone who listens.
You can visit my website, Inner Sojourn, for resources and insights that may help you on your healing journey. Together, we can navigate the complexities of grief and work toward finding light in the darkness. Let’s take this step forward together.
